Mexican holiday is just around the corner.

Day of the death.

If you have ever known anything about the Mexican culture you are probably familiar with the day of the death, from October 31st to November 2nd, 3 days of remembering our ancestors, it's being said that to know where you are going you have to know where you came from, and nothing beats looking at your past relatives and learn about the struggle they lived to get you where you are right now.

We as Mexicans have a very intertwined belief on the unity of family, and most would agree that we do what we do to provide our descendants with a better economical and sociological standing, this little celebration is as much a way of remembering as it is a way of teaching our kids about the value and importance of those before us, which can be seen on the way they lived and what they did to move forward in life, be it right, or wrong, it's because of what they did that we are where we are right now.

But there is more to the celebration than just looking back to the ones that came before us, it's also an acknowledgment on the nature of life itself, how everyone, in the end, is going to die some day and will be left as nothing more than bones, "Dia de los muertos" is a love letter to death itself, also known as "La Catrina" since we fashion her as a dressy female skeleton, we are proudly standing next to the people that haves already passed away saying "we do not fear you, come spend some time with us" we open our doors, and our minds at the same time to the notion that life is not eternal, and all of us must die some day.

Trying to understand our ideals.

The religious nature of my country leaves nothing short of having everyone want to be remembered as good people, as such, no one remembers the death as bad persons, they just look at the good they did to try and reason that, even if they were some bad they were worthy of going to heaven, yes he might have being an abusive father or a wife beater, but once he's passed away all is forgiven least they deny him entry to heaven, and more often than not, they do it as a way of showing that "we forgave the one that just died so that he may enter heaven, if I ever did anything to you, you'll forgive me too least you keep me from getting into heaven", restless spirits are the ones that their family cant forgive, this translates to a colloquial saying "No death person has ever done anything bad in life", which I personally find very interesting to think about because they are not really saying he was "perfect" but that whatever he did was not bad enough to be sent to "hell" so he was not a "bad" person when he died, everyone forgave him, kind of a circular thinking if you ask me, but since I never was a very religious person it's meaning just washes down to "he did what he could to maintain his family" which is a way of letting go of things.

As such, it's a given that whatever we do to the people around us, as long as we don't "break" the family ties we won't be remembered as bad people, "betrayal of family" such an ingrained concept on the Mexican psyche, you are nothing without your family, if a man kills another man trying to rob him he is a delinquent, if he does it because his family needed the money, society would look at him with kinder eyes, not the law of course, just society in general.

It reminds me of the Netflix series "Narcos" most people saw Pablo Escobar as a monster, except his family and the people that got to know him personally, it all comes down to "he did it for his family" and it shows in how the people around him, the poor people, treated him, they all wanted to be part of his family in that same series, we are shown the life of the investigator Steve Murphy and his wife Connie Murphy, she leaves him at one point in the series fearing for her and her baby, for most of us that would be seen as a betrayal of family, I know most people in the USA and some European countries would see it as a normal thing to do, but you never abandon a member of your family, even less in such dire circumstances, and what some might consider the right thing to do, Latin american people would see it as being a selfish condemnable act.

Celebrating with the family.

What better way to celebrate than with a gathering for dinner?, we all love our food, even more in Mexico where the cuisine varies greatly from one area to the next, and we all bring dishes from all our family members into a cacophony of flavors that go from spicy to sweet and everything in between, if you have never being to a Mexican feast I would highly recommend it, in America I've noticed that the "party food" is sometimes monotone, in Mexico we set up a buffet with such disjointed themes and ingredients that you are sure to find something you'll like, but what celebration of the death could be without the people you are celebrating, we arrange altars to those we loved, not unlike the Japanese altars, picture of the departed in the middle, but we are much more colorful, orange and purple are the colors of the death, and we arrange the flowers of the death around them, it's an art in itself that we teach to our kids from a very young age.

I remember burning my self jumping this
when I was a little kid

A path of flowers and candles is set outside the house all the way into the altar, the door is left open and the food is set in the altar so that our dearly departed may come and go as they please, most of the time there is a bottle of the liquor they enjoyed in life, tequila most of the time, with a shot set, and a pack of their favorite brand of cigarettes, of course we lit one up for them to smoke when they arrive, the altar is set in the morning, the food is brought early evening and is left thorough the day, for the celebration most people make their dinner arrangements the night of the 31st, it's not always a party mind you, most people would gather on their mothers house but if they can't they will have a private feast for themselves.

After dinner, people will then get into the custom that is most common to the world, kids will dress up as the death or the devil or even a monster and go out from house to house asking for candy, teens will gather on organized parties with their classmates and have a party of their own with music and booze, and the adults will most of the time get drunk remembering the ones that are not there, it's not uncommon for the 1st to be received with a hang over.

It's not uncommon for people to stay until after midnight

Then comes the 1st of November, swarms of people will go to the pantheons to visit their family members, some bring the "comal" and eat lunch there, in my town it's common to eat cecina with home made tortillas and have a few beers next to the gravestones of our family members, we decorate their graves with all kinds of flowers and then go home in the late evening, not all people liked to go at the same time so it was recognized that the 2nd should be taken too to be able to visit your family whichever of the 3 days you would like, and all 3 days are fair game for kids to ask for candy.

I can hardly wait to take my kids to ask for candy.